clampy mchorseboy
a common name for the one known as ben. also refered to as ‘benji’, ‘clampy’ and ‘mcphearson’. this primitive form of humanity is usually over-productive and a good worker, but is easilly distracted and instantly aroused by the sight, smell, sound, touch and/or taste of clamps. be it innocent or self-induced, this alfa-male will pounce and initiate in it’s mating tactic with said clamp. this tactic involves hoofing. (see hoof). he is equally aroused by horses, but only some. no-one has ever tried to exposed the subject to both clamps and horses simaltaniously, but tests have shown that an expected explosion would occur in the crotch of the test subject. common signs of the clampy mchorseboy are a smug att-tude towards everything, a knack for always being right, and to a greater extent, several cheese-like tendencies. you have been warned – do not approch said horseboy – especially from the rear.
“ahhh! it’s clampy mchorseboy!”
a supreme example of the human species, who’s intelligence is only topped by his modesty.
can be regularly sighted in the larkhill area.
unfortunately the above comment on this species are false, as clampy mchorseboy is not “aroused” by horses or clamps (maybe lisa!). the individiums who created these obscurely groteesque rumours (mr baker and fir) are cheeses, see cheese.
“h-llo mchorseboy”, – “hoooooooooooooooooof”
“oh my god, its mchorseboy, that cheese”
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