Coultard chinitis
a physical handicap, characterised by an extremely wide chin. the affliction is named after mclaren grand prix driver, david coultard, who has the most serious case doc-mented thus far.
news just in; grand prix driver, david coultard has been sacked by racing outfit mclaren. it was said that pre-season testing had not gone well as planned, as coultard’s battle with chinitis, had left the team with an aerodynamic quandry. apart from modifications having had to be made to the wind tunnel, in order for the grand prix veteran’s chin to have enough clearance room, adjustments to the rear wing were fruitless, as they could not compensate for chin mediated resistance and drag factors.
team owner ron dennis said: “david and i have discussed the decission at length. it is unfortunate. i do not want to sound uncomp-ssionate, but there is literally no room for chinitis in motor sport”
coultard is said to be undergoing chinitis treatment, starting with a chin hypoplasmia opporation. if all goes well, coultard can expect a 5 inch reduction in chin girth. this may tept minardi into offering him a contract, although possible contraindications to the proceedure such as m-ssively increased testicular size, may hinder entrance and exit from the c-ck pit.
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