Critical Masturbation
1. what happens when you get two or more bicycle enthusiasts in a room. typical topics of conversation include: how much their bikes/components/spandex bodysuits cost; how cyclists get no respect from motor vehicles, which they totally deserve and ought to fight for, even though the usual rules of the road–like stoplights, crosswalks, and one-way streets–obviously don’t apply to bicycles; and what brand of toe clip/leg wax/douchenozzle is appropriate for race day?
2. the world’s largest monthly circlejerk.
cabbie: sorry sir, it looks like we have a delay.
p-ssenger: can’t we go around?
cabbie: nope, they got the whole road shut down. looks like some kind of douche pride parade.
p-ssenger: oh, it’s that time of the month: critical masturbation.
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