DONT YOU FUCK WITH MY DICK


abbreviated dyfwmd, this is a phrase commonly used in place of “don’t mess with me”, but with a more traditional meaning of “leave my p-n-s alone”.

this saying is thought to have been originated by duke wellington iii, after a fellow n-bleman who was stricken by the black plague, would use his decaying hand to taunt and otherwise pester the duke. while this was primarily in jest, after the n-bleman threatened to grab wellington’s scr-t-m (in effect, making it fall off), wellington fatefully proclaimed “dont you f-ck with my d-ck!” — then proceeded to unsheathe his rapier and chop off the n-bleman’s infected hand.

true to it origins, this phrase is commonly followed by an act of aggression or violence.
masculine form – contemporary

dude 1: “hey, i’m drinking your last beer…
dude 2: “dont you f-ck with my d-ck!” (punches dude 1 in the head)

masculine form – traditional

dude 1: “give me the remote or i’ll punch you in the b-lls.”
dude 2: “dont you f-ck with my d-ck!” (punches dude 1 in the head)

feminine form

girl 1: “d-mn, that’s your boyfriend…he’s s-xy! does he like blondes?”
girl 2: “dont you f-ck with my d-ck!” (punches girl 1 in the v-g-n-)

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