Isle of Wight

isle of wight
island off the south coast of england. the big diamond.
6 miles south of the two overner cities of southampton and portsmouth where sc-mmers come from (from dock strikes many many years ago). it held the second biggest pop festival in the known galaxy ever (600,000+) when countless 1000’s of hippies lay on the pavements of every town and village out of their tiny’s on strong pyschodelics.the island is run by a load of trumped up inbreds who wife swap in the woods on full moons. the law enforcement consists of dimwits transferred from other areas of the country where they’re either too stupid to fit in or have caused some great calmity so that they can no longer stay. they also wife swap in the woods on full moons.
many beautiful beaches,many beautiful people, many old tw-ts retired from london. two blinding festivals and alot of very talented artists and musicians. the biggest of the two feativals is the isle of wight festival reveived 5 years ago, now hosts now around 75,000 each year. acts have included paul wellar, david bowie, rem, coldplay and 2007 the rolling stones will headline. the local fuzz mount a sniffer dog on the gate to discourage drug pushers. however the drug pushers just wait till they go for their 3 hour lunch break then wheel in their booty. meanwhile the fuzz come back and strip search pensioners who may have brushed p-ssed somebody smoking a joint 3 weeks ago or some poor git with prescribed medication for a dodgy ticker, all this the sniffer dog picks up(he too was transferred from another county for leg roggering). this caused outrage and many complaints where lodged of the treatment of innocent festival goers. this did nothing to help the local fuzz’s reputation of having the foresight and intelligence of an argentinian dung beatle.
apart from that the place is great, give it a try.
do you need a p-ssport to go to the isle of wight ?
also known as the “garden isle” for its landscape scenery. at first deceptive however, for the island has a high risk number of chavs and emos.
musically, the isle of wight produced bands such as the bees and mista mushroom.

also famous worldwide for its yachting compet-tions, community and general sn-bbery but it should be pointed out the they are a minority and annoy most other islanders.
“but we had all our vaccinations when we went to the isle of wight”
a small island off the south coast of england. referred to by the beatles as a place to holiday when you’re 64, the island is notorious for its surplus of oap’s as this garden isle can be a relaxing place to live with a very slow pace of life.
however, life for anyone below the age of 65 can be very boring unless you are extremely rich or stupid. there are very little job prospects, the education system is terrible and the social exclusion rates are like those of a major mainland city. there is very little for kids to do, fashion takes 5 months plus to translate to the island’s people. the cost of living is quite high- for example, mcdonalds raise the price of all the goods 10p more than mainland prices to account for shipping.
with all the negative stuff out the way, the air is cleaner, life is calmer; you feel more secure here than on the mainland. raising your kids here in theory is great as you can let them out on the streets and you know that if they step one tootsie out of line, the neighbours will tell you all about it. everyone knows everyone, probably related to someone, somehow. it’s an excellent place to re-evaluate your life simply because you realise that you have so much going for life elsewhere. plus, we have a couple of brilliant breathtaking festivals every year and hendrix played here!!!!
isle of wight dictionary:
mainlanders: grockles or overners (bl–dy foreigners)
islanders: calkheads
caterpillars: mallysh-gs
cheese sarnie: nammit
lady: gal
man: nipper
child: littlun
well, i say (express surprise): wuh!
island newspaper: the isle of wight can depress

an island off the south coast of england, the isle of wight is a land of beauty. it has a lot of nice seaside towns and they all have attractions. some people equate it with being in england in the 1950s, but there’s nothing wrong with that surely.
on the isle of wight there is a museum containing the skeleton of a finback whale (the second largest after the blue whale) which was washed up some years ago near the needles.
isle of wight or isle of ‘white’ as known by locals.

small island of the south coast of england. extremely beautiful.

unfortunatly foreigners and mainlanders feel the need to move there. although they will never be welcome.
pollyanna: look mummy, over there! a foreigner!!

mother: shoot em baby! dont want anyone on our isle of wight..

pollyanna: okay mama.. wel feed em to our pigs..
the isle of wight is a brilliant place to live for people of all ages, we have some of the most popular business’s in the uk and have fabulous scenery. we’re famous for our isle of wight festival which brings people from all over the uk.

although we have had some ruff times in the past we are all fighting through it and making great friends doing so.

the isle of wight has a very stereotypical view that we only have elderly people here – this isn’t true. we have a wide scale of people children to the elderly.
i live on the isle of wight.
an island off the south cost of england . people are known for being inbred but this is not true , the only part of the island that is like that is wroxall . i live on the island and no one in my family are inbred i can -ssure you! , people also say that people who live there have accents but i do not have an accent at all just a plain voice . im not saying the island is the best place ever because its not , it has its faults , but nowhere is perfect , there are far worse places in england .
isle of wight