Italian Breakfast Wakeup
a method of waking someone up in an undesirable fashion. one person pours olive oil and balsamic vinegar on a sleeping person’s face while another person grates the smelliest cheese possible over the sleeping person’s head. another person shakes a m-ssive container of grated parmesean cheese over the sleeping person’s head. several enraged italians quarrel in loud italian right next to you, and an old italian man screams in your ears, “mama mia” repeatedly. finally, a pizza maker smacks you in the face continually with hot pizzas from his wood fire oven. it is important to note all of these actions are signs of respect, and only those with the requisite prestige and reputation can aspire to receive this lofty wakeup. this practice is still active in parts of rome, tuscany, and cinque terre.
i don’t want johnny to sleep over. he always gives someone one of those italian breakfast wakeups, and they get terribly messy. he claims it’s part of his heritage, and it’s a great honor to bestow upon someone, but i think it’s messy and awful.
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