Kayak Fever

kayak fever is most likely to affect individuals in north america, especially those in western states, due to the large amount of gnarly white water available. it is typically caught by white males, although it crosses nearly all age, race and s-xual boundaries. symptoms include “geeking out” on guide books, both online and hard copies, as well as websites such as dreamflows awetstate, boof.com etc.. those who suffer from kayak fever find it hard to concentrate on anything other than smashing through m-ssive waves on their kayaks, catching eddy’s boofing gnarl, surfing, stern squirting, bracing etc. infected individuals often suffer year round symptoms of needing to kayak, regardless what time of day or year it is. these men often perform strange rituals such as “the rain dance” late into the fall, in hopes of bringing life to california’s many wonderful creeks. girlfriends become useless, other than for the occasional lay, and are often abandoned due to the infected individuals need to kayak seven days a week. work and cl-sses merely become obstacles which must be overcome in order to kayak ever more challenging and exciting rivers. few things excite the individual more than running a new section of gnarly river.

as of yet, there is no cure for kayak fever
tristan: “hey man if we get enough rain the north fork should be flowing this wednesday, you down to ditch cl-ss + work and hit it.”

mike: “aww man i told my girlfriend i’d go salsa dancing do you think we”l make it back in time? you know what, i’m just gonna break up with that breezy and screw my cl-sses, lets h-t the f-cking north fork, and the consumnes this weekend, and the mccloud, and the smith, and the feather, and upper putah creek, i’ve got f-cking kayak fever man.”