Leenold Schwartzencrander
a superhuman figure having qualities both man-like and mom-like. able to sense the most miniscule disturbances within a garden sp-ce and capable of producing the most irrational logic known to mankind. her or his goal: ruining as many lives as inhumanly possible each day through a series of extremely organized agendas.
did you hear about what leenold schwartzencrander did last night?
no, do share.
s/he was found driving a steel blue toyota sienna while carrying a shotgun and doing doughnuts in the middle of the high school football field. s/he was shooting every kid in sight.
oh my g-d! the cops got her…or him, right?
h-ll no. s/he had pre-arranged schedules for each of them so that none could be there to stop her or him. s/he’s headed for the state line. only g-d knows where s/he’ll strike next!
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