mauerbauertraurigkeit
the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.
my treatment-resistant depression coupled with the adronitis of being your friend has created for me a severe sense of mauerbauertraurigkeit.
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