Michelle Elaine Jacobs
mich-lle’s more of a man than you’ll ever be
when she was a lumberjack she f-cked a tree
then all the women in the whole wide world.
your wife, your mom, and the suicide girls.
then she killed hitler with her gun without firing a shot
ate gl-ss, used science and invented pot
saw time and sp-ce in a tardis ship
got bored, went home, ate a bag of chips.
and if to global warming you look for a cause
you should look no further than mich-lle elaine’s claws
cause she’s got bear arms and she’s so d-mn hot
that she heats the earth, just like a tater tot!
why the bear arms? you ask, well don’t you know?
mich-lle won them in a fight with a bear named joe.
now joe’s got no arms but he’s sure not sad
he knows he got in return a story most rad.
“hey, man, looks like you’re limping pretty bad.”
“yeah, i made eye contact with mich-lle elaine jacobs and now my -ss is pregnant.”
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