Mid-life Douche
a sub-species of douche between the ages of 30-45, usually divorced. while this particular douche may have once been a decent human being, the onset of a mid-life crisis leads to increasingly douchey behavior and eventually, the transformation into a total douche. the mid-life crisis douche will often begin drinking excessively and/or doing a large quant-ty of illegal drugs and will sleep with or attempt to sleep with much younger women in order to recapture his youth. he will also become obsessed with the gym and will begin buying expensive, tight fitting clothing to show off his “new physique.” he will also have an increasing need to be the center of attention; especially when intoxicated. he often uses humor to gain the attention of those around him, and he often resorts to making jokes at the expense of others to distract himself from his own crippling insecurities. the mid-life douche can be spotted in clubs dancing awkwardly next to much younger girls, or in a local bar drinking excessively, laughing at his own jokes, or telling stories of his “conquests.” this is a degenerative condition. once someone begins the slide into mid-life douchebaggery, it is only a matter of time before they morph into a full blown douchebag.
man, ever since sean hit 35 he’s started to become a mid-life douche!
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