morning salute

a loud, powerful, blasting series of farts let in sequence immediately upon awakening from the nights sleep. it is recognized by a sharp crackling sound that emulates the 21 gun salute from an m1 garand color guard and carries the odor of the nights meal. a real man lets this fart in front of his woman without a care of whether she hears this or not.
honey, what in the world was that sound? i think i just lost part of my hearing as i awoke from a deep sleep, i thought we were being shot at.
that was my morning salute woman, get used to it you will be hearing it a lot around here.

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