New Braunfels, Texas


an overgrown town weeded with drugs, rivers, and unicorns.
new braunfels advertises a friendly german atmosphere, but it delivers poorly. discluding wurstfest (sausage festival characterized by local teenagers and oblivious tourists in flamboyantly stupid and overpriced hats, getting drunk and eating brat on a stick)the town is hardly german because the only ones left are dying off and being replaced by san antonians that are sick of traffic.
the public schools in this town are bad too. while the teachers themselves are great, the districts don’t listen to them, leaving schools corrupt. for example, while the academics of the school are terrible, millions go into athletics. specifically at new braunfels high school(mascot is a unicorn) home of state champion tennis, baseball, and many high football and band awards.
the comal and guadalupe rivers are known for tubing, which is not glamorous here. mostly littered by drunk college kids and unidentifiable smells, this part of the city is pretty from the pictures, but not in the water. depth in the comal ranges from 15-1 foot and is filled with urine, because there are no bathrooms, so don’t put your face in, it’s dirty!
schlitterbahn, the number one water park in america, is unique. it has three individual parks within the city, schlitterbahn west (old park) surfenburg (the 2nd park and most kid friendly) and blastenhoff with the big rides. the ticket is about $35 per person, so if you plan on coming, bring big money.
schlitterbahn west side masterblaster w-sselfest wurstfest unicornsguadalupe comal tubing gruene new braunfels high school new braunfels, texas

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