O.J. Nicholas J. Saint Crapper
when you can’t hold your sh-t in anymore….
this is something you repeat to yourself as fast as you can while urgently trying to get to the nearest toilet, before you accidentally sh-t all over yourself.
at work today…i had to super speed walk down the hall, while clinching my b-tt-checks together in order to get to the nearest toilet. or else i would have sh-tted all over myself… the whole way there i was chanting “o.j. nicholas j. saint cr-pper” repeatedly as fast as i could.
i successfully made it to the toilet though!… i think the “o.j. nicholas j. saint cr-pper” chant keeps you from sh-tting all over yourself.
thank g-d i didn’t sh-t all over myself!
this is something you repeat to yourself over and over again as fast as you can when trying to urgently find a toilet because you are holding in a huge bowl movement that feels like it is about to explode out your -ss at any unsuspecting momoent.
your stomach is aching, and gurgling, and you feel you cant hold it any longer.
so…you ask the teacher for permission to use the bathroom.
“and the teacher allows you”
so you calmly get out of your seat like “no big deal” and you slowly head out the door, making sure to close it behind you.
and as soon as the door is closed you break into a super fast speed walk while clinching your b-tt-cheecks together and repeating to yourself as fast as you can “o.j. nicholas j. saint cr-pper”….as if it is some kind of prayer that is keeping you from cr-pping all over yourself.
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