Platonic blowjob

the platonic idea of love is non-physical, so there’s a natural irony in this kind of thing. the word platonic with the word bl-wj-b is automatically an oxymoron. so, the platonic bl-wj-b is a particular kind of act between two people who claim to be friends yet are s-xually dependant on one and other (either by desire or sudden necessity). in other words, it’s a kind of booty call where one sucks the c-ck of the other to save or strengthen the friendship.

amy: what do you think are the political ramifications of china switching to nuclear power?
mj: hey, amy, i’m sorry but i’m too h-rny too listen. i think i’m going to have to booty call my ex or hit on that pig drinking by herself over by the pool table.
amy: no, don’t leave me alone.
well, then what?
i have an idea! i’ll give you a platonic bl-wj-b!
(amy drops to her knees in front of mj mphhhphh mphph mphphphhphhhhhh)
ah, thanks. i think that china modernizing to all nuclear reactors will have a profound impact on the price of oil. it will drop . . .
(an example of a friendship saved by the platonic bl-wj-b)

john: are you dating amy?
mj: no, i like drinking with her.
john: aha. she’s been giving you platonic bl-wj-bs, hasn’t she? what a pig!
an act of f-ll-t– given as a non-s-xual reward for accomplishing a difficult task. the reason for f-ll-t– rather than a material reward stems from the absolute truth that f-ll-t– is awesome. it is generally reserved for monumental feats of accomplishment – ex. landing a major client account in record time, where the potential client was leaning away from ones firm.

this bl-wj-b is non-s-xual. no attraction need (or should) exist between the giver and receiver. receipt or gift of a pbj is not considered h-m-s-xual if given between males, but only if the pbj is given for a legitimately monumental achievement.
jerry: i landed the vcorp account overnight – and they were even thinking of going with the other guys!
rob: jerry, that’s amazing. we’ve had sales team after sales team tell us that account was impossible! and i just -ssigned it to you three days ago! tell you what, meet me in my office. you’ve earned a platonic bl-wj-b!

alice: tim, i can’t believe you were able to complete the entire backup automation in two hours. it even tags changes and encrypts everything! tomorrow morning, i’ll see you in your cube for a pbj.