pretension of hipsters


like an ostentation of peac-cks, a murder of crows, or a parliament of owls, a pretension of hipsters is a simple and elegant term for a grouping of one of the more annoying self-referential and self-satisfied demographics in the history of demographics. pretensions of hipsters can be found combing through old record stores in search of vinyl, hitting cool overpriced urban thrift stores, hanging for hours at local coffee shops, and, either performing in, or standing in line to listen to, a band of other hipsters with unfortunate facial hair, playing quasi-folky/blue gr-ss inspired, unidentifiable something or other. there will be a banjo player.

although pretensions of hipsters set up residence in cool and edgy neighborhoods such as williamsburg, brooklyn, and san francisco’s mission district, where they can be spotted unabashedly overstating their cultural significance, they will have most likely arrived, trust funds in tow, during the second or third wave of gentrification, well after the hard-core artists have done the difficult work of staking out a claim in a relatively inexpensive if shady neighborhood, with no coffee shops, just delis and bodegas, with burnt coffee to go.
“look honey, a pretension of hipsters just arrived in our neighborhood.”
“glad i didn’t throw out my stove pipe hat.”

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