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texas state university is the university of choice to blow your load and maintain a 3.0. hated by the majority of universities in the state, txstate boasts the prettiest campus, best location, and rocking partying reputation. ut and a&m love to say that txstate students couldn’t get into their schools, but seeing as the requirements to attend txstate are the exact same requirements as ut, it really just proves the point that we don’t like to hang with goats f-ckers, wrangler lovers, or ugly theater kids who pretend ut is ivy league.

why texas state? texas state hosts the kids you loathed in high school. we had the nicest cars, parents money, and the nicest bodies. it’s not our fault that we would like to congregate at the same school and bask in our awesomeness. are we vain? shallow? f-ck yeah we are, and we have the absolute right to be. you may hate us because we party harder, rock tighter bodies, and will still get better jobs than you because even if we’re here for six years, we can network like the f-cking best.

have any doubts? other universities travel to party with our school’s elite. river raft race in one of the biggest parties nationally, with over 2,000 partic-p-nts this past year alone. people come from arizona, colorado, new jersey, and even california to see what the f-ck we’re about for just one weekend.

still hate our school? then don’t even bother heading out to 6th street in austin, because we’ve been dominating that party scene for two decades. ut got biggest party school in 2006? you better believe it’s because txstate reigns supreme in their own city, and while they may got the books, we’ve got the looks. we turn the state capital into our own personal vegas every weekend, and n-body stands in our way. we even come in limos and top-notch party buses, while all you ut f-gs take sad little taxis.

your school thinks it has money? coach bags are our gym bags, and you’ll be laughed out if you think sperry’s are expensive shoes.

why do we get the greatest jobs? because our parents are the ceos, lawyers, and doctors of this fine state. we’ve gone head-to-head with board members well before this college game, and we make a point to be remembered. our school has the biggest entrepreneurial spirit and we are feisty; our ego is what powers our greatness.

jealous much? you should be. sam houston and stephen f. austin only wish to have the caliber we do, and ut and a&m simply just don’t know what to do. it’s not their fault, how can you compete with a school that’s the perfect mesh of street smarts, great looks, and trust funds?

partying is just part of our nature. we have a f-cking bar in the student center on campus. the only reason you hate is because we are living the american dream. we toke, roll, yay it out all day because we can and still rape a good gpa.

you think we’re immature and don’t want to grow up? why? because our parents pay for everything? you’re right, it crazy of us to take advantage of the bmws, boats, range rovers, shopping allowances and free trips to miami and vegas. sorry our parents don’t want us to work at mcdonalds and live on loans. we’re not immature, we’re spoiled, gifted really, and f-ck yeah we’re going to enjoy the ride. maybe if you lost a few pounds and got a tan, we’d let you come along too.

and forget about the freshman fifteen, we don’t tolerate that here. if you’re not a gym rat, just pack your bags. we only socialize with the hottest, and that takes maintenance. so we tan, we work out, we dye, we bleach. you say our girls look like playboy models? well, incidentally, we’ve got those too, just watch the girls next door. just keep talking about our bleached hair while we average a 168 lsat score and and starting salary of 70,000.

and our boys are just as fabulous. they’re built and hot, tan and taunt, they’re a girl’s fantasy. our fraternity formals are legendary, and these boys use their street smarts in every way. they own the nicest bars and clubs from miami to cancun. they hold more boardroom positions than a&m after graduation, probably because we don’t look like joe dirt. mtv pleads to film on location here every year, we just can’t help that we’re that awesome.

so anyone jealous, just step aside. go cry how we’re spoiled, shallow, and dumb as dirt. you’re just upset because you were too pathetic to be invited to the party, it’s not our fault we won the genetic lottery. your right, we’ll snub you in clubs and refuse to visit other universities, because why waste our time? you stay elite by eliminating the riff-raff, maybe in a few years you’ll make the cut.
“i hear everyone at texas state university is a sl-t”

“no, everyone at texas state is beautiful, we just stick together so all you ugly f-cks don’t think you stand a chance”
an amazing college located in the heart of texas, san marcos. many people feel that everyone there wanted to go to ut but couldn’t get in…well all of yall are wrong! most people chose that school (i did) even after being excepted into ut.
one of the hardest schools to transfer into in texas is texas state university.
it is the university that you go to when your’re smart and/or get screwed by texas’ affirmative action rule.

then after getting turned down by ut undergrad you get recruited by mit’s graduate finance program and laugh all the way to the bank.
email to friend:

subject: rofl’ing
to: [email protected]

oh, you got into ut because you were in the top 10%? that’s so awesome! i went to texas state university and loved it.

yours truly,
[email protected]

cc: [email protected]
university located in san marcos where students with below-average grades with a plethora of extracurricular activities attend. if you partic-p-ted in any extracurricular activity and p-ssed your cl-sses in high school, texas state university will gladly accept your application for enrollment. primarily as the school that you attend when denied by top-tier universities such as texas a&m and ut austin, texas state boasts students ranging from the underachievers to the mildly r-t-rded. students living on-campus partic-p-te in a wide variety of activities provided by the residential halls. requirements of the residential hall include obtaining a certain number of hours of partic-p-tion in activities that include group dance parties and watching television in the lobby of each res hall. academic excellence is clearly not the focus at this university.

while partying is a common factor in life both on and off campus at most universities, texas state has a special niche in this area. all your cl-ssmates you despised in high school (jocks, d-bags etc.) are all combined into one university to labeling texas state as one of the top party schools in the grand state of texas.

with a mediocre education and a long list of activities such as fratting, partying and making friends, employers will absolutely put a texas state application towards the top of the application pool. go bobcats!!
setting: prospective student meets with texas state admissions counselor…

cac: so jimmy what is your cl-ss rank?

jimmy: 250 out of 500

cac: oh okay top 50% i see.

jimmy: yes, i was preoccupied with football, track and powerlifting.

cac: wow! because of the diversity of your extracurricular activities, you will make an excellent addition to the student body at texas state university!

jimmy: sweet bro. i can’t wait to chillax with my broskis and crush keystones on a cl-ssic frat-rday night.
-positives-
1) located in the beautiful town of san marcos, texas.

2) only university in texas to graduate a u.s. president. lyndon johnson graduate from here.

3) majority of the students are women.

-negatives-
1) place students go if they can not get into university of texas or any other university.

2) admission requires a minimum 2.0gpa, probably the lowest addmission requirement of all universities in texas.

3) university known for drinking, partying, and generally just immature and dumb people. -characteristics represents about 90%(maybe higher) of student body.

4) univerity where your chance of finding a virgin wife is very low.

5) about 50%(maybe less or more) of the student body has a std or sti.
example:

professor: hi, how are you today?

student: i’m in college i dont want to grow up. wa, wa, wa, you can not make me! i want to party and have fun and never grow up. i want to be a kid forever. i do not want to go to cl-ss, i want to get drunk. i’m not a loser, you are. ha, ha, ha, na, na, boo, boo.

professor: well, that explains why you are at texas state university instead of ut.
the renamed “southwest texas state university” so that they seem less “localized”. located in san marcos, tx, approx. 30 minutes south of austin. where college students attend when they don’t get into the university of texas.

they have a nationally acclaimed business school. the campus is beautiful but the town is full of mexicans. students go to sixth street in austin or float the san marcos river for their fun. texas state has a bit of a “party school” reputation… but in truth it’s not any worse/better than and other american university.
look! i got a 1240 on my sat and have a 3.5 gpa but i still can’t get into ut! i’ll just go to texas state like everyone else does with hopes to transfer.