The Dirty Menorah

while the menorah has its roots in hebrew culture, religion, and lore, the dirty menorah has only recently made its way into the lexicon of s-xual parlance. however, it has crossed over to become more secular in nature in that it is not only practiced by those of hebrew ancestry and faith, but by members of various religions as well as agnostics, and atheists alike; it need not be hetero-specific. it is related to the dirty sanchez, the dirty rodriguez, and even more so to the dirty ash wednesday, albeit borne of different religious doctrine.

in stark contrast to the menorah, which bears a total of nine candles, only two partic-p-nts are required to effect a ‘dirty menorah’, with the male (or one of the males if practiced by a non-hetero couple) serving as a sort of s-xual shamash. for eight consecutive days, the ‘shamash’ has -n-l s-x with his partner.

each day, after having successfully nutted in the recipient’s -ss, the shamash places an individual and distinct hebrew-language character on the forehead of his partner using only his p-n-s to write the character; the ‘ink’ with which the characters are written in this case being c-ck-borne -ss-matter from the shamash’s d-ck. contrast with dirty ash wednesday.
“ah, the dirty menorah…you know, last week i ran into my ex, and when i saw her, i couldn’t help but think of that vacation we took in the bahamas where, over the course of eight nights, i painted her forehead with hebrew characters using only my d-ck…best -n-l s-x of my life, but she wouldn’t leave the room.”