the masturbation defense
the universal alibi used by criminal defense attorneys and criminals. the accused will use the “i was at home masturbating” defense to avoid conviction. defense will provide dna evidence and s-m-n samples to the prosicution resulting in an acquittal, mostly.
detective: sir, we know you did it we know you lured those minors. you also have alot of teenage boys and girls on your facebook page. we have witnesses and physical evidence linking you to these crimes.
handjob bob: i was at home masturbating, mostly. you want proof?
detective: “the masturbation defense” huh? you have surviellance video of you masturbating?
handjob bob: better, i have dna evidence and witnesses who can back that up.
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