The Stegall Disclaimer

clause.

codicil used by males prior to engaging in v-g-n-l/-n-l intercourse with sorost-tutes. this clause is directly used to relieve any and/or all future hopes of aforementioned guttersl-ts from pressuring said individual into relationships. further, the male in said situation is absolved from all guilt stemming from palpation of the v-g-n-l c-n-l and/or -n-s on any given s-xual encounter. upon acceptance of the agreement, the sorost-tute has no grounds to b-tch or carp about the male’s absence of interest in her personally as well as s-xually post copulation. the function of the agreement replaces the antiquated phrase “s-x does not const-tute a relationship” that is typically used in one’s defense after coitus. it is important to note that most experts agree that had the stegall disclaimer been inst-tuted in our fathers’ time most bullsh-t that almost all of us have had to deal with at one time or another could have been avoided.

note: the most integral and ingenuous part of the disclaimer is that it dispels the myth that the vast majority of women believe that they are “special” and “different” from all other “pieces of -ss.” in addition, the application of this verbal contract vindicates a fundamental part of the male’s relationship slant – women are stupid and think that they can change men, but they are incorrect. it is important to remember that the use of the disclaimer must be clearly in place before the first penetrating act. serious consequences will result if the methodology is applied after “rearranging her guts.”

the disclaimer was first implanted in the fall of 2003 and has since achieved overwhelmingly positive results. to the knowledge of all pundits of the clause, the disclaimer’s veil has not been pierced since inception.

-the stegall disclaimer does not protect against hiv or other s-xually transmitted diseases.
amy: “he’s such a f-cking d-ck for scr-w-ng me and not calling this week.”
pam: “but you said that he gave you the stegall disclaimer.”
amy: “i know but…well…f-ck.”

zach: “you can’t just raw-dog your soldier through some chick and not take her out later.”
ryan: “you are uninformed, my friend. i gave her the ‘ol stegall disclaimer.”
zach: “you are a godd-mned genius.”