TOMS Shoes


an extraordinarily uncomfortable pair of canvas slippers that offer no arch support and will give you a sprained ankle every time you wear them. if you buy a pair of toms shoes, the company will send an identical pair of these dangerous shoes to a child in a third-world country so they too can roll their ankle and walk with an awkward gait.

toms shoes are made of unstructured canvas and cloth, making them even cheaper than the chuck taylor. they are popular with hipsters and kids that think they can save the world by buying things for themselves.

wearers of toms shoes truly and honestly think they are helping poor children by giving them free shoes; however, wearing toms may be more hazardous than going barefoot.
aspiring hippie nyu student: – “i wear toms shoes so an orphan in columbia can get a free pair of shoes!!!

–rolls her ankle–

“dammit! not again…”
________________________________________________

teen girl: – i can’t believe you’re selfish enough to buy asics! if you bought a pair of toms, like the jonas brothers, some poor kid would have free shoes

runner: – toms shoes will give the child a lifetime of podiatric issues, why would i wish that on anyone? know what? as soon as asics gives away free kayanos to africa, i’ll buy ten pairs!
high-end kung fu slippers. tom shoes are favorites among the hip society that want to be stylish and kick -ss at the same time!
you can kick some serious -ss while wearing those toms shoes kung fu slippers

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