Tundra Wookiee

history
the original term “tundra wookie” was coined by a young man from west los angeles by the name of bryan n.(last name not given for privacy reasons) while visiting the far north american regions with his friends. upon his return, the term was then p-ssed on to his friends and family and unto me. considering i know a ridiculous amount of people, and i am a total jerk and used the term everywhere, it’s no surprise that others use it and try to take credit for it. no matter what anyone says or believes, this is the truth and any other story is utter bull—-! because n-body knew what a tundra wookiee was before the mid 90’s and if they claim that they did, they’re lying.

word composition
in physical geography, tundra is an area where the tree growth is hindered by low temperatures and short growing seasons. arctic tundra occurs in the far northern hemisphere, north of the taiga belt. the word “tundra” usually refers only to the areas where the subsoil is permafrost, or permanently frozen soil (wikipedia.org)

adult wookiees are typically taller than most humans, averaging 2.1 meters (6’11”). they are physically strong (as suits an arboreal species), have extremely thick hair, and have high endurance (although slow moving). wookiees are fully covered with hair, making them highly adaptable to a wide range of climates (wikipedia.org).

application
though a wookiee could be male, the term “tundra wookiee” was only meant to be applied to women. so that being said..

definition
the term “tundra wookie” (also known as neanderthalensis alaskanis robustus), is basically a witty yet oddly accurate way of describing a larger than normal (in height and weight) woman who is granola-ish in appearance(see granola)and most likely has poor hygiene.

note: this term is solely meant to describe the outwardly appearance of these particular women, and in no way has any negative implication about their personality. tundra wookiees could in fact be very intelligent and have great personalities!
picture rosie o’donnell one day on live t.v., appearing one week unshaven and seriously granola-ish. one could appropriately say, “that rosie sure looks like a tundra wookiee today!”