Turd Law of Relativity


the apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (for every minute you think you’ve been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) the t-rd law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of cr-p.
boss: “if you weren’t in there droppin’ a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now.”
me: “i was in there for five minutes. six tops.”
boss: “more like 15 or 20…”
me: “well i’ll be d-mned. i just proved the t-rd law of relativity.”

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