Todd Nesnick
All parents want to see their children grow up well. Parenting is the real challenge. As every child is different, each parenting problem is too. There is no thumb rule to treating a toddler, and nobody can decide what will work best for your kid.
We live in an increasingly chaotic world: our kids get into gangs, real online gambling at LasAtlantis, love affairs, and so on. That’s why it has become even more important to nurture children emotionally and mentally to fight societal norms. This mental and physical development begins at a toddler’s age. Parents generally do not realize their attitude toward their kids, which results in low self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, this article explores some common parenting problems parents do not realize.
How does Parenting Style Shape Behavior?
Parenting style is a method of treating a child since childhood. Many different styles have been formulated based on a parent’s personality. Every style has a different effect on a child’s psychological state.
It is evident that demanding, loving, communicative, and controlling parents have self-controlled, assertive, and self-reliant children. On the other hand, the parents who are too controlling but are not emotionally attached to their children get the children who are disaffiliated and unhappy.
An effective way to learn more about parenting style is by communicating with professionals through different means, such as online therapy. Trying out every aspect of a toddler’s life and behavioral development is not mandatory. It would help to determine which style will help you grow a friendly and social child.
It is better to go for an optimal style from the beginning, as consistency will help in better brain development. However, if you are willing to change the style, it is alright to make the switch, but ensure that the change is not too sudden for the child and stick with it for a long time. Otherwise, the child’s behavior will turn into mental health issues, poor school performance, low self-esteem, and short temperament.
Comparison Between Parenting Style
There is no single right way to bring up a toddler. As a parent, you will realize whether this style is working for your kid or not and how it is affecting their behavior. How you parent your kids depends on how you were brought up and what was your cultural background to some extent. However, there are four common types of parenting styles. Try to understand the difference and its effect on the child to avoid mistakes.
| Authoritative | Authoritarian | Attachment | Permissive | |
| Definition | Authoritative parenting maintains a balance between the two. They express love and respond to toddlers’ needs and desires while maintaining authority over children. | This parenting style is regarded as harmful as these parents are inclined to keep the kid in line from toddler, so they can become better people when they grow up. | The attachment parenting style is child-oriented, in which they get a secure and safe environment. | Permissive parents are caring and loving. They are the opposite of traditional parenting styles. |
| Effects | The children feel encouraged to speak their hearts out. Children are confident as they get the liberty to do tasks. They do not go out on track as they set clear and consistent rules. | The parents set strict rules for children.
Give severe physical punishment. Set high goals and expectation that haunts the kid Open and friendly communication is not encouraged. |
The toddler makes lots of physical contacts while carrying, holding, and sleeping.
Children get responses without second thoughts. Parents soothe, support, and provide comfort. |
Parents set no strict boundaries.
Don’t attempt to control a kid. Set a few strict rules It provides liberty to make choices. |
| Pros | Authoritative parenting has shown a higher mental score rate than other styles.
A child experiencing an authoritative style is less violent. |
Many consider it a practical and appreciable manner as it keeps a child within his boundary. | This style is considered beneficial while being counterintuitive. The children are more independent, emphatic, resilient, and less stressed. | The children turn into independent, confident, and ultimately decision-making adults. |
| Cons | It is beneficial yet requires some rules to be adjusted. | Children do not see such parents as actual authority figures.
They are more violent and engage in harmful activities. |
Co-sleeping can result in SIDS, and they do not bother about too much privacy. | Research has shown that children who are brought up in a permissive parenting style are generally victims of bullies. |
| Example | If a toddler is on a curfew to eat only kid’s food, they will start depending on it. | If a toddler is asking for something and you constantly refuse, he will ultimately become a rebel. | An example of attachment parenting is that your toddler has a nightmare and wishes to sleep with you, and you allow it. | Your child decides to skip school, and you allow them to develop their decision-making ability. Well, it’s wrong. |
5 common mistakes Parents Make While bringing up a toddler
Sometimes it becomes difficult to balance work, life, and a toddler. It compels parents to make certain decisions or do things that are correct and beneficial for them but may affect them negatively. Therefore, here we have mentioned some common mistakes you should remember while bringing up a toddler. Let’s hope for it.
Being Helicopter Parent
If you have heard this term, maybe you have faced it or have seen people doing it to their kids? Helicopter parents constantly keep an eye on the kid’s activity and jump in to solve the problem as soon as they encounter one. Simply, the parents are overprotective.
Such parents are generally afraid to see their children fall, but they are not preparing them to face the world’s norms and society’s hardships. They are providing an unrealistic view of the world. You might be protecting your child, but you are doing no favor by not letting them take ownership of their own life and learn from their mistakes.
Ultimately, your child will make mistakes and face downfall at a particular stage of life. Remember that these mistakes are inevitable. Therefore, you must prepare your kid to face these hardships and defeat them gracefully without giving up. It is alright to make mistakes in childhood, but learn to stand up again. It is only possible if you let them deal with difficult situations independently.
Being Inconsistent
Irregular routines are one of the biggest mistakes you create in a toddler’s life. It becomes confusing for them what to do at what time. Toddlers do best when they know it is the time to do certain things. For example, whether it is bedtime, bath time, or the consequence they will face for misbehaving, things become accessible when the situation is predictable.
The more consistent and predictable things are, the more agreeable, happy, and bright the toddler is likely to be. If you are not consistent, the toddler will turn out to be more violent and aggressive. For example, if you are unsure how to react when the toddler dumps the food on the ground, ignores bedtime, or does not tell them not to misbehave, they will stick to it.
As long as you maintain consistency, they will learn to react positively. When you stare every time they throw the food, they will know they have done something terrible.
Start Potty Training Too Soon
Some parents push their kids after a few months or a year. Some children may learn to pee, but others resist by rejecting entering the toilet. When parents think it is the time and issue, stern reprimands when things go awry. The children’s resistance led to a power struggle.
However, you can set a stage for them with a positive attitude and the correct method. Show your toddler the toilet and explain to them how to use it. Moreover, leave the door open when you go to the bathroom if you feel comfortable because toddler learns faster what they see. If they attempt to go to the bathroom, encourage them.
If your child is in diapers at the age of 3, do not worry because he may be a slow learner but believe me, no child will bear to go to college in a diaper.
Allowing too much Screen Time
The era of technology is advantageous, but excessive use may lead to an unhealthy lifestyle for toddlers. Young children who get too much exposure to television often witness more trouble learning later. According to specific research, children under 2 cannot comprehend what they watch on TV. Hence, early exposure is harmful instead of beneficial.
Children usually ask about the things they see in everyone’s hands. It becomes inevitable to stop a toddler from using a mobile phone. Therefore, you must keep them occupied with reading or other creative pursuits. Please talk with your toddler and encourage him to utter words. Listen to them carefully and react accordingly to encourage the behavior.
Serving Kiddie Food Every Time
Does your toddler not eat anything other than chicken and some selected vegetables? It is not their fault; it is actually your fault. Are French fries the only thing they eat? It is because they have been eating only some particular dishes since the beginning. Sometimes, parents realize too late that their toddler has been living on a plain diet consisting of a few dishes. Ultimately the toddlers will resist eating other food.
Do not ignore the child’s diet at any cost. Encourage your child to grow up eating everything. Those children are ready to try new things their parents have seen them enjoy. However, if you push back, the kids with certain things on the plate are likely to reject dozens of things without trying.
Do not stress yourself if your toddler is a picky eater. Many children do, despite getting exposure to multiple dishes. Over time, they will learn to try new things, but force will make them rebel.
How do we Reverse Mistakes?
Parenting is indeed a challenging task, especially when it comes to a toddler. Some people try to become perfect parents, become too strict, and make many mistakes which result in distant relationships. Remember, these are just mistakes because nobody wants to bring up a child wrongly. If you have made some mistakes, you can reverse them. Here are a few techniques to help you reconstruct good relationships with children.
Let Your Child Be Heard
No matter a child or an adult, everybody wants to be heard. Ignorance makes children find alternative methods to express their emotions. Therefore, it is crucial to let your child express their feelings, emotions, and even wild thoughts and ensure that you listen to them.
It will help them catharsis and vent frustration in a healthy way, giving you an insight into their personality and strengthening your relationship with them.
Be Consistent
When it comes to punishment and reward, be consistent. Children will be confused about what to expect if you just set specific rules that are not regular. They will not know what to write. For example, if you do not punish them whenever they dump food on the ground, they will learn it is okay to throw food in certain situations.
Ensure Not to Label Them
Childhood is about mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, learns from them, and becomes a good human being, but if you stick the errors on their forehead, it instills a rebellious feeling in them. Therefore, do not label their behavior. For instance, do not say “you are stubborn” if the toddler throws tantrums. Instead, use these attributes as adjectives such as “stop acting like stubborn.”
Conclusion
Parenting is a fundamental task. Different methods have different impacts on a child’s mentality. If you adopt a strict approach to school toddlers, they will become rebellious. On the contrary, choosing a lenient attachment method will help you connect with them. The age of 1 to 3 is when you can content and shape a child’s behavior as their every sense is too active. If you want your child not to be stubborn, choose the proper parenting method. If you have made mistakes, try to reverse them and mend relationships instead of shouting and blaming.