Being in a relationship in the modern age is not as conventional as in the past. People now have different expectations from romantic relationships, unlike in the past, where a connection was simply for the company and possible procreation upon marriage.
One of the most prevalent causes of conflict in relationships is failure to understand what the other partner wants from the relationship, thus leading to conflict.
Romantic relationships require that both partners understand the other party’s needs, how to interact with them, and how best to handle issues as they arise. The best way to understand these aspects in relationships is by defining them appropriately.
Here is a matchmaker’s guide to defining a relationship and enjoy it to the fullest.
1. Know Yourself
The first step in any social interaction is knowing oneself. Doing this creates the perfect foundation for defining a relationship since it allows you to figure out what you want in advance. The phrase “know yourself” can appear strange and paradoxical for most people, considering that you are likely to know yourself better than many other people. However, it is only through knowing yourself that you can accurately create a good relationship with others.
If you want to know yourself in the context of defining a relationship, you need to begin by first taking some time to undertake intense introspection. You can undertake this task yourself or seek the services of some of the best matchmakers NYC, which implement several sessions to understand your character and needs. Based on the information, they can help deliver personalized coaching critical for a healthy relationship.
Start by considering what it is you want in the relationship from the onset, whether it is a permanent relationship, something casual like a Friends With Benefits, or you are willing to explore and see how it goes.
Before even considering engaging the other party in conversation regarding the relationship, create a list of elements you seek to attain and put it down on paper. Doing so will then put you in a position to have a fruitful interaction with the other party. Besides, understanding these issues is integral for you as it will help guide the next few steps.
2. Meet With the Other Party in Person
In the current age, it is easier to shoot someone an iMessage, WhatsApp, or Facebook text instead of meeting them physically. While such meetings are comfortable for the typical person, they may be disadvantageous to you because they create a distance. It will be easy to address pertinent issues such as what the relationship entails and the definition of said relationship in person, as opposed to via communication.
Remember, planning the meeting is equally as important as the meeting itself. A few pointers you should look out for when planning the meeting is to ensure it is in a neutral but calm, comfortable place.
These are not the kinds of meetings in a loud bar with people moving up and about, invading your privacy; a simple restaurant or park bench will do. However, ensure that the location is comfortable for both individuals.
3. Ask Direct Questions
In such meetings, beating about the bush can be counterproductive and, dare say, a waste of everyone’s time. When meeting with the other party to discuss a matter as pertinent as the identity of the relationship, you will do well to ask clear and direct questions. You can ask questions like: How Do You Feel About Our Tome Together? How Does The Future Look Like Between Us?
Such questions create a framework for a conversation, thus allowing both of you to air your views on defining the relationship. In asking questions, remember to use a genuine and sincere tone since appearing inquisitorial or accusatory could lead to the whole process’s failure.
4. Be Specific
In defining the relationship, being vague and non-committal can be easy since it involves avoiding tough topics. However, remember that when you are having such discussions with your partner, the aim is to come to a speedy conclusion. Being vague creates a possibility for awkward conversations in the future, something that you are definitely trying to avoid.
Be specific in delimiting the confines of your relationship so that you know where you lie in relationship terms when you are done with the conversation. Nothing is as awkward as one party has a different perspective on the nature of the relationship than the other party.
5. Never Adduce Finality
Adducing finality means telling the other party that this is our relationship’s final point of view. It is often very counterproductive and creates the impression that you are unwilling to see the future. Finality is often damning, while the future is full of possibility. As such, when defining the relationship, always leave the door open. In leaving the door open, you also leave room for any future happenings to be desirable for all of you.
The discussion on defining the relationship is often very uncomfortable and involves a lot of intimacy and opening up. Most people are likely to avoid it, especially in the case of introverts. When having the conversation on defining the relationship, ensure that you are as relaxed and as comfortable as possible in the circumstances. When you are open, you are likely to have the best understanding of the situation and make conclusions that serve the best interests of all the parties involved.
When starting out, failure to define a relationship is one of the worst things to do to yourself. It leads to the parties having a different conceptualization of the relationship, leading to one party feeling betrayed by the other. Defining the limits of the relationship ensures that all the entities involved understand the extent of the relationship in terms of what to expect, providing a flourishing interaction in the long haul. Remember, time is of the essence when it comes to defining relationships, so do it as soon as you can.