Shub-internet



/shuhb in’t*r-net/ (MUD, from H. P. Lovecraft’s evil fictional deity “Shub-Niggurath”, the Black Goat with a Thousand Young) The harsh personification of the Internet, Beast of a Thousand Processes, Eater of Characters, Avatar of Line Noise, and Imp of Call Waiting; the hideous multi-tendriled entity formed of all the manifold connections of the net. A sect of MUDders worships Shub-Internet, sacrificing objects and praying for good connections. To no avail – its purpose is malign and evil, and is the cause of all network slowdown. Often heard as in “Freela casts a tac nuke at Shub-Internet for slowing her down.” (A forged response often follows along the lines of: “Shub-Internet gulps down the tac nuke and burps happily.”) Also cursed by users of FTP and telnet when the system slows down. The dread name of Shub-Internet is seldom spoken aloud, as it is said that repeating it three times will cause the being to wake, deep within its lair beneath the Pentagon.
[Jargon File]
(1994-11-04)

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