janitor coffee

an inferior coffee-like substance totally dissimilar to real coffee except in appearance (caffeinated brown liquid) and drunk by individuals who seem to have severely damaged or no tastebuds at all (ie. customers waiting in an auto repair shop, people staffing a job fair booth within a shopping mall or community college, focus group facilitators, -ssisted living facility personnel and janitors…)

this bottom-of-the-barrel brew is often made from low-grade, pre-ground robusta beans and stored in giant unappealing plastic containers found on floor level of supermarkets and bodegas. it is a fraction of the cost and taste of freshly-roasted and ground coffee brewed from arabica beans. it is the coffee equivalent of natty lite ice.

when dispensed in public by any of the above it is often served luke-warm from a mildewy, never-washed mr. coffee maker and paired with non-dairy powdered “creamer” squeezed out of a wet-wipes-esque container covered in bondo dust , ecoli and/or greasy fingerprints and a variety of highly-engineered toxic non-sugar based “sweeteners” and perhaps deeply-discounted danish. it is not organic- it is not fair-trade.

-n-logous to the pro-choice philosophy of the abortion debate, this dumbed-down abomination being p-ssed off as coffee is all about “life not quality of life” and will suffice for anyone who buys their clothes at gas stations and just wants to “git r done!”
p: i got you some coffee. i never buy coffee from the grocery
store, but it seems ok and it’s fair-trade.

n: omg, thank you; i normally drink janitor coffee or instant
anyway so this is awesome!