New Philadelphia High School

new philadelphia high school is a small high school where the students can be separated into a few distinct groups:
1. the wanna-be hipsters: these kids like to wear toms and have an unlimited supply of v-neck t-shirts. they spend most of their time smoking weed or listening to bands that are completely unheard of. they refuse to get up to date with current culture, citing it as “too mainstream”.
2. the jocks/ popular kids: these students spend most of their time going to parties and getting absolutely wasted. almost all of the jocks have around 5 underage consumption charges by the age of 16, and smoke weed.
3. the band kids: these are students who decided to partic-p-te in the new philadelphia marching quaker band. despite being t-tled as a “band”, it is commonly known to function exactly like a cult. band kids are forbidden contact with anyone outside of the band. any student who tries to leave the band is completely and utterly shunned by their fellow bandmates. the band is also riddled with an incredible amount of drama.
4. the druggies/stoners: these students spend all their time smoking weed, taking ecstasy, or getting smashed at the apartments of high school dropouts/failures. many of the guys are complete douchebags and like to show people how legit they are by posting how drunk or high they are on facebook. these kid’s excessively use the word “bro” and it’s alternate forms to the point where you want to shove a rusty spoon down your throat.
stoner on facebook: “bruh i smoke fatties, for life bro. i’m so drunk/high right now.”

observer: “g-d, not another stoner douchebag from new philadelphia high school blowing up my news feed.”
located in a quaint h-ll hole about 30 min. south of canton ohio,nphs is a sh-t stained failed social experiment of a school well past its prime. the teaching staff is primarily composed of chronic alcoholics whose original goals in life were to go off to grad school and earn a doctorate in some gay -ss liberal arts program. but because they failed to earn high enough grades in their undergrad studies,attributed mostly to an awesome combo of hookers and blow, they were forced to teach the teenage angst filled minds that primarily compose the new philadelphia school system. now even though it’s a shining example of why american public schools are a failure and laughing stock of the world,the majority of its inhabitants are your a-typical -ssortment of jocks,sl-ts,rednecks,gays,hipsters,gay hipsters,bandies,nerds,preps ect. there is however 1 interesting and notable standout group among them. mostly consisting of baby momma’s so nicely imported from the inner city ghettos of ohio’s metro areas by the juvenile justice system,the violent drug fueled shenanigans of the tribe simply known as the group home girls provide the highest form of entertainment at nphs. if its fighting over who can take it farther up the -ss from the handicapped janitor,or who’s turn it is to sneak out during lunch and go buy menthols from the gas station down the street, the broken ribs and punctured spleens that occur in said fights always help liven up lunch room gossip and school in general.
f-ggot a:dude after i graduate from new philadelphia high school, i’m leaving that sh-t stain of a school behind forever. i don’t want my future offspring to go there and get herpes from those group home girls that go there.
f-ggot b: yea,those girls are such c-nts and sl-ts.