Russet Potatoes


when an old man wears pants that are way too tight and you can see the outline of his junk, resembling russet potatoes, when he crouches or sits. this phenomenon is hard to look away from for some people, as they are baffled by the various shapes created. it’s just one of those things that is so nasty that it’s hard not to look.
phil: hi eric! (sits down next eric)

eric: hi phil, what’s up? (notices the outline of phil’s junk pressed down the side of his leg resembling russet potatoes)

phil: just working on my jabiru. (eric can’t help but look again)

eric: oh, how’s the work progressing? (eric looks yet again!)

phil: good, i just need someone to weigh the final project for me. (eric can’t hold eye contact any longer, bewildered by why someone would wear pants so d-mn tight.)

eric: i’ve gotta go study for a test. (eric uses a lame excuse to escape the akward situation, but his eyes are scarred forever.)

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