30 reasons a girl should call it a night

1. you have absolutely no idea where your friends are.

2. you have absolutely no idea where your car is… wait did you bring your car??

3. you’ve become convinced that dancing with your arms overhead, shaking your -ss, and yelling woo hoo is truly the s-xiest dance move ever.

4. you’ve suddenly decided you want to kick someone’s -ss and honestly believe you can do it (b-tch…i ain’t playin…).

5. you start singing 80’s songs at the top of your lungs and showing off your dance skills to the car next to you.

6. your bladder becomes amazingly full every 10 minutes.

7. you sit down and the room and people around you start spinning profusely.

8. your slurring your words so bad, that n-body can understand what your saying and then when they say what, you can’t even remember what you were talking about.

9. you’ve come up with the brilliant idea that you can create less h-ssle on your friends by just “sleeping over” at a your guy friend’s house.

10. you see beers all over a table so you lift each one up until you find one half full and chug it when no one is looking.

11. you talk to stupid sk-nks you really hate and tell them you really do like them and that ya’ll should be friends.

12. you p-ss out at the party. and the next morning there is writing all over your face and limbs. (if you p-ss out with your shoes on, you are fair game).

13. you find yourself peeing behind random buildings.

14. you become overly enthusiastic when someone offers you $20 dollars to make out with your friend (when you totally would have done it for free).

15. the man you’re flirting with used to be your ta.

16. you’ve suddenly taken up smoking, and become really good at it.

17. every conversation starts with a booming, “don’t take this the wrong way but…”

18. your make-up is smeared all over your face and somehow you have still managed to make out with 5 different guys. very cl-ssy.

19. the urge to take off articles of clothing becomes strangely overwhelming.

20. your eyes just don’t seem to want to stay open on their own, so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically s-xy.

21. you yell at the bartender, because you think he cheated you by giving you lemonade, but that’s just because you can no longer taste the vodka.

22. you think you’re in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor.

23. your hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

24. you begin to think you’re a really good dancer and anyone within arms reach becomes your new dancing partner.

25. you’ve taken off your shoes because you believe it’s their fault that you’re having problems walking.

26. you can’t feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and then when you look to see what time it is, you find you have 7 missed calls from someone you
“supposively” met at the last party.

27. one minute you’re strutting your stuff, the next minute you’re rolling on the ground, and you can’t seem to remember the transition.

28. you can no longer feel your face or limbs so you flail your body about to try to regain feeling.

29. you call your ex-boyfriend 1,000 times and leave lots of really nice voicemails saying that ya’ll need to hang out more.

30. you start hugging strange people and having great converstations with strangers at whataburger.

30 reasons a girl should call it a night; example of # 11 “that time i called you a wh-r-, i didn’t mean wh-r- like dirty sl-t, i ment wh-r- like….hey, i looooove you necklace. i’ll totally call you to go out, i love you girl!”