50 shades of grey

a socially accepted piece of a former twilight fan-fiction erotic novel that is captivating females of all ages.
why can’t we watch p-rn in the breakroom? because the female employees want to be able to read 50 shades of grey and not hear moaning…
an erotic book written by e.l james. it is basically a p-rnographic book for women, as we all know women dont really like pr-n so reading about it is better fot them.
my friends call it mommy p-rn because is literally what it is.

a girl called anastia meets this successful man christian grey and they have unbelievable s-x and more s-x and some more s-x. there is a lot of bondage and bdsm on it so beware.
if you are a prude then this book is definately not for you, don’t even bother opening it.
my guess is that when the writer was writing it she was feeling pretty h-rny at the time.
“hey have you heard about that new book everyone is raving about”

“which one”

“50 shades of grey”

“oh, that my mum reads that”

“holy sh-t!, your mom reads mommy p-rn”
50 shades of grey is a 2011 erotic novel by british author e. l. james. set largely in seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, anastasia steele, and a young business magnate, christian grey. it is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of s-xual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (bdsm).
husband- ” hey whatcha reading hunny?”

wife- “this new book called 50 shades of grey…”

husband- “what is it about?”

wife- ” about a girl who meets a guy and they becomes very intiment together..he likes to spank and tie her up..”

husband- ” oh yeah!”

wife- ” mhmm..it’s very erotic reading..”

husband- ” maybe we should try some of it?!”

( they both run upstairs to bed)

………
50 shades of grey is the gayest book ever created. and is read by millions across the world about 90% who read this book are just doing it for the laughs but the other 10% are weird cat ladies and h-rny weirdo guys. this book is about s-x and nothing but s-x, but it isn’t as good as it sounds it is really about a creepy couple who are s-x addicts..
mark: hey bill have you read 50 shades of grey?
bill: no when i’m h-rny i watch p-rn…
a book written by some author who clearly hasn’t gotten any in a while. in the book, a naïve little b-tch named anastasia steele, likes to have s-x with christian grey, who likes to have lots of kinky, hot, dirty s-x, and even though she doesn’t really like it all that much, she decides to stay with him for a while. they have s-x in the tub and in the bedroom and pretty much everywhere, the book is basically about two people having nasty, naughty s-x. the s-x scenes are boring however, because ana talks like a little innocent mary sue virgin, who acts reluctant instead of moaning like a good girl and an obedient little wh-r-. i don’t know, one of my friends showed me some scenes in the book, and they were pretty boring.
here’s a typical s-x scene from 50 shades of grey:

ana (thinking): he’s so hot! i must have him, i wonder what he’ll do

chris: okay b-tch, come here.

ana: okay
chris (whips ana with something).
ana thinks: this is just the beginning, it’ll be over, i should enjoy this but i don’t
chris: yeah….now suck my c-ck
ana: okay (thinks) is this the good part, i’m hoping i do a good job, i wouldn’t want him to leave me. yes, i think it’s good, he seems pleased, his d-ck is still hard, so in health cl-ss, that means he’s excited. i wonder what will happen next
chris: good girl, good girl
ana: (thinks) yes… once more.

the book would have been more exciting if it had went like this.

ana (spread eagle): alright chris, do whatever you like. (shakes -ss)
chris: (takes belt and hits ana with it) how you like that, b-tch.
ana: yeah, do it again! i love that, hit that -ss, hit that p-ssy!
chris: suck my c-ck b-tch!
ana: gladly, mmm, yummy c-ck.

chris: moans, good girl, suck harder
ana: yeahhhhh.

the book would have been more entertaining to read if the scenes had been written like this. i apologize if i made you get hard.