99.9…% Sure

sometimes people, when expressing how certain they are of something, say they are 99% sure of something. oftentimes, however, they choose to add validity to their statement by adding 9s behind the decimal place, thinking that will prove their words to be truth beyond belief. we can create a scale of how sure a person actually is based upon the numbers of 9s behind the decimal in their percentage:

99.9% sure: 99.9% is absolutely rock-solid; a person who says they are 99.9% sure of something is presenting insight with undoubtable knowledge of the topic. this information can be counted on.

99.99% sure: 99.99% is still measurably accurate. usually, 99.99% is reserved for situations in which there still remains room for unexpected events. this information can still be counted on, but watch out.

99.999% sure: 99.999% represents the beginning of a slippery slope of doubt. 99.999% generally is used for opinions or statements that cannot be backed with empirical evidence. most people who frequently express political beliefs will say they are 99.999% sure of something. be careful before believing someone who is 99.999% of something.

99.9999% sure: at this point, we cannot be completely sure of how positive someone is of something. if a person says they are 99.9999% sure of something, it is basically a 50/50 situation.

99.99999% sure: if a person says they are 99.99999% sure of something, they genuinely have no f-cking clue what they are talking about.
99.9…% sure:

connor: i am 99.9% sure that the sun will rise tomorrow.

daniel: i am 99.99% sure that the next battlefield game will be kick-ss.

evan: i am 99.999% sure that dirk is a h-m-s-xual.

dirk: i am 99.9999% sure that evan has been raped in the shower.

johnny: i am 99.99999% positive that socialism will prevail.

rebecca: i am 99.999999% certain that i was a cow yesterday and will be again tomorrow.