A Loz P
the infamous loz p lurks around street corners of the scottish central belt, waiting to go mad raj at anyone who dares cross her torrid path. the elusive little critter can often be found nibbling on chicken wings and sipping a can of fizzy diet coca cola. anyone who dares defy this fiery temptress risks being hacked to death with a machete or hung drawn and quartered from the clyde bridge. never one to p-ss up a delightful beverage of the strongbow persuasion, when the loz p gets drunk she may succ-mb to a case of ‘mad raj’. or even when she is a as sober as b-tton. loz p may appear friendly but when derogatory terms are used infront of her (i.e. rug muncher) she is capable of decapitating a man with nothing but a sizzling glare. she has a feminist radar so when misogynistic comments are made a missile is launched which destroys said person. misogynists beware.
flatmate one: i’ll just leave this here, no one will mind
-a loz p appears in a cloud of sulphurs smoke and flat mate one is melted with her gaze-
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