Aayla Secura

“er, i…didn’t quite catch that. got…distracted…”
―the response of any person to ever speak to aayla secura, ever

aayla secura

biographical information
homeworld: ryhot, err, ryloth
born: wow, those br–sts, um, 40 bby
died: she’s way to hot to die! (official story is that she was

shot about 56 times by a bunch of h-rny clones)

physical description
species: twi’lek
gender: hot female
height: s-xy
hair color: blue brain tails
eye color: green

aayla secura was a female jedi who was also a twi’lek. she is most famous for being drooled over by fanboys (and possibly some fangirls), who often had dreams of getting her in bed. however, she married non-fanboy grover in the end and, to the dismay of the galactic populace, began to dress modestly. as she was a twi’lek, this meant very little change in her wardrobe but the change was enough to send her followers into a spiral of despair.
personally, i just don’t see what those fanboys see in…mmm, that s-xy -ss… and those b–bs!

aayla secura was born into the cult of st. noodlehead, the state-sponsored church on ryloth. as a teenager she became dissatisfied with its feminist leanings and converted to g-nkism. despite her career with the jedi, she persisted in loyalty to it even unto death. but she didn’t die! (yes, she did die. tough luck, fanboys. now go get a life.)

during the clone wars aayla boosted the moral of her troops up to an unprecedented summit by undressing in the jungle.( obi-wan tried this, and it resulted in 3/4 of the clone army under his command needing replacing, after a m-ssive spate of suicides. the other 1/4, well…wookiee-nookie abounded..) needless to say when order 66 was executed half of her squad committed suicide, the other half vowed revenge on supreme chancellor palpatine, leaving only two mandalorian mercenaries of the entire squad alive, those mercenaries were….yes you guessed it goran beviin and medrit vasur.

together, she and her fuzzy, blue husband went on to have 199 children. so, aayla secura might be your grandma, she just might. about her and grover’s relations…as many fanboys as there are jax pavans, to be precise, have wanted to “trade places with” her husband, wanting aayla to provide some place to put their…uh…let’s not go there.

well…below are some notable results of their relations:
karen
weirdo
jax pavan 20,394
and the most notable of all…
thrawn
star wars fanboy1: man i’d like to show aayla my lightsaber if you know what i mean.

star wars fanboy2: what are you talking about man she mastered the fourth form of lightsaber combat, ataru, and had some skill in form v, as well as being a user of jar’kai. not to mention training under quinlan vos a highly respected jedi master. she would totally kick your -ss at a duel.

star wars fanboy1: dude you need to get laid…

aayla secura is a s-x g-ddess with lightsabers.