absolutely

the one word that will get your boss / parent / authority figure to give you the “deer in headlights” look and leave you alone. regardless of what is being discussed; i.e. 1)drawn out over explained instructions on how to do a simple task 2) typical parental lecture 3)”do you know why i pulled you over?” situations.

instructions on use: step one – wait for pause in
-ssailents ranting
step two – make convincing and direct
eye contact
step three – say “absolutely boss, dad
, officer, etc.”
step four – walk away and proceed going
about your business
boss: “hey (your name) im glad i found you. look ive got a
bit of a situation. you see tim was sick today, and
that means that his typical collateral duties of
emptying the trash in the managers office hasnt
been completed. i know you know how big an issue
this is. i mean wow if i could just get you to…”

you: “absolutely” (remember to lock eyes and put on your
best “im not stupid” face)

boss: ………….

you: (proceed to carry on about your business as if nothing
happened)
an interjection indicating affirmation in the extreme. even more extreme than “sure,” much more than “yup,” and a world away from “uh huh.” used primarily to bullsh-t people into thinking you agree with something they said and that, of all people, you know what they’re talking about. the former may or may not be true, but the latter seldom is.
glenn beck: we’ve already proven that barack obama’s birth certificate was printed in 2005 at a kinko’s in alexandria virginia, which proves he’s a kenyan muslim socialist. you know what i mean?

teabagger: absolutely! see you at the march!
to do something with a furious intensity.
i absolutely ate potato chips last night instead of a real dinner.