academic hustler

a person who works the education system to his/her advantage in order to attain the highest achievement, usually while minimizing effort. does not require cheating, only a keen understanding of how to succeed in academics, such as exploiting teacher biases by studying the way a teacher grades and thinks in order to tailor one’s answer to his/her preferences and not necessarily to what the perceived objectively correct answer actually is.
david seems to never do any work but gets straight a’s — he’s such an academic hustler.

rebecca did all the reading, then read the paper prompt, wrote the paper and received a b+; eva read the prompt, looked in the index of the book for keywords and read the relevant p-ssages, wrote the paper and got an a, the latter is obviously an academic hustler.

john takes the maximum number of courses a quarter, takes the hardest cl-sses, has a 2.7 gpa and is still unemployed; his friend, an academic hustler, took it easy but has a 3.9 and currently a six figure salary.
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like any other hustler, they determine the most effective courses of action to minimize expenditure and maximize
results. these particular hustlers know that studying does not produce good grades – efficient studying does. these students are able to do well, have a good time, and work to live, not the other way around.

sometimes mistaken for high-achieving slackers, but there is a large difference between the two. the former generally does well because they are good at school, but, if they have to choose between working very hard and a good grade, they will choose to slack off. the academic hustler, however, for whom success is most important, always works as hard as is necessary, though strenuous work is rare, due to their academic efficiency and social and psychological prowess.
example 1:
nerd: i studied for 32 hours straight and got an b- in neuromolecular statistical modeling, the hardest cl-ss in the college!

academic hustler: good for you? i took the cl-ss, “love songs,” got an a, hung out every night this week, and got laid an equal number of times.

example 2:
high-achieving slacker: that senior paper sounds like a lot of work; f-ck it, let’s go drinking.

academic hustler: dude, you need a good grade on that to get into law school; normally i’d go with you, but, sometimes you have to work hard. i’ll come visit you at community college.

example 3:
inefficient studier: i read, then re-read, then re-read the book! how did i only get a “b” on the exam?

academic hustler: next time read it once with intense concentration, take the most necessary notes, then read over your notes and the bullet points at the end of the chapter before the test, this gives you the general points and the most relevant specifics. guaranteed “a.”

example 4:
idiot: i’ll retire when i’m dead.

academic hustler: your work is going to kill you. i’m working, but it practically feels like i’m retired. and, the moment i have made enough to retire and live decently, i’ll leave this job and go travel the world, volunteer, spend time with friends and family, and do everything in this world that means anything. by the way, have you gotten a chance to sail that boat you bought last year?
academic hustler: n.

a student who attempts to manipulate, cheat or guilt a professor (usually college) into -ssigning a higher grade then earned. academic hustlers usually will resort to flagrant lies, half-truths, phantom illnesses, or–if all fails–provocative flirting and bribery. the hustling is more prevalent, during the last 2 weeks of the semester, but can occur at anytime.

during their college years, most have been reprimanded by professors for cheating and plagiarism. in addition, many have used “test banks” or paid socially inept honor students to do their work, in exchange for superficial friendship.

most academic hustlers (if they are graduated) will end up chronically unemployed due to incompetence, because they lack basic skills that they failed to learn while hustling professors.

at its core, academic hustlers are blinded by a misguided sense of ent-tlement, chronic laziness and total disrespect for higher education.
last semester in my cl-ss, he asked me not to fail him for never showing up to cl-ss, because he needs at least a b to get into grad school; and he’s willing to do anything to p-ss. what an academic hustler!