Accountant
someone whos obviously making more than you
accountants can start at $60,000 with no experience
the chosen occupation of the dullest people you will ever know. enticed to this career solely by the prospect of financial gain and security, yet not brave enough to advance to the somewhat more respectable and risky (yet at least.. more exciting) field of finance, a person who chose to be an accountant is a boring syncophantic moron (see: tool) who essentially decided to do the most boring job in the world because he or she was scared of committing to anything else.
n-body is ever “p-ssionate” about accounting. anybody who says that he or she is p-ssionate is basically a f-cking godd-mn bullsh-tting liar.
ex. ricky chose to be an accountant because he thought he wouldn’t get hired for anything else. he now works for pwc and is f-cking boring as h-ll. ugh, having to be around him and listen to him talk is like being strangled and having to die a very slow and painful death.
easy -ss major. made for those who don’t like or can’t study. you see those kids partying their way through college and getting knocked up/stds/wasted every night? chances are they are an accountant. or a just a psychology major.
dan: d-mnnn i’m so drunk and high right now, i guess i’ll skip cl-ss tomorrow.
tim: you’re in school?! i thought you were like a dropout or something.
dan: naw man, i’m an accountant!!
tim: oh. that explains it.
an extremely dull person, devoid of all personality. stereotypically will wear a grey suit, drive a grey car and have grey skin. all accountants are balding by 25 years of age and have repulsive coffee breath. spending a day in an accountants can bring on depression in an instant.
yeah he seemed a right accountant, reckon he must have left his personality at home.
say something dammit, anyone would think you were an accountant, mate!
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