aice

aice: the advanced international certificate of education, as prescribed by the university of cambridge in england. it is the most advanced public college preparatory program in the world, though cambridge candidates (high school students in the program) have not yet mastered the concept of b.s. has well as their ib counterparts, and thus, suffer through junior year with greater difficulty. the program has greater academic variety than ib or ap (for example, where else can you earn college credit via an exam on urdu?), but occasionally lacks the depth of knowledge in certain subject areas, such as ap’s english literature. however, ap kids generally shut the h-ll up about their programs when the read the exams for aice u.s. history and chemistry. they then pray to whatever false g-d they worship and thank it for giving them the “courage” to pull out of the cambridge program and join the ranks of lesser mortals known as ap students. and yes, ap kids, i did write 14 pages in 3 hours for my aice history: still bubbling in answers for a test, i see?
basically, though not officially, an aice diploma will nearly guarantee a florida (the program’s only viable american outpost is in florida, despite having centers in over 150 nations) student’s admission into to the university of florida, which is the wet dream of every public school student in florida who has a goal other than undeviating mediocrity.
also, the only organization that uses the words “rubbers” and “invigilator” as part of its’ test procedure. crazy british.
for more information on the program, see www.cie.org.uk
ap student: “hey, your in the aice program, right?”

aice student: “yes”

ap student: “yah, i was in that program, too. but i quit after junior year because the cl-sses got too hard. but i’m in ap, and they are about the same, right?”

aice student (shaking his head): “and that is why n-body will ever love you.”
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the aice program (advanced international sic certificate of education) is an pseudo-advanced college preparatory program developed by a single university in england in 2002. students of the aice, despite appearing to be free-thinking individuals, are actually mindless dolts who found themselves rejected from the more prestigious, critically-acclaimed, and far more distinguished international baccalaureate programme. one could surmise, given aice’s recent conception, that the entire concept is derived from those who were rejected from the international baccalaureate programme as students. the general consensus of aice among the ib community (and the academic establishment as a whole) is one of pity and sorrow for their lowly counterparts. despite this, ib students will often engage in public mockery of these inferior pseudo-intellectual dimwits. ergo, sod off!

in other words, natural selection of the academic world at its finest.
you’re an aice student, oh my g-d, i am sooooo sorry. please accept my dearest condolences.

aice, pr-nounced ace, because they are illiterate.

tommy had high hopes for making it into the prestigious ib programme, but when he discovered he was in fact rejected, and to avoid academic humiliation in the inferior aice program sic, he hanged himself. poor tommy.