Alabama Ostrich

this term describes the act of putting a handful of sand into the v-g-n-, prior to s-xual intercourse.

this form of s-x is tremendously pleasurabe when both parties are m-s-ch-stic. the couple can make love until their organs are a raw, bl–dy mess and enjoy the endorphine rush for several minutes.

if the male chooses to perform this act out of rage, he can protect himself, somewhat, with a lubricated condom.

this type of intercourse was invented on the beaches of gulf sh-r-s, when the redneck first crawled from the primoidial ooze that we now call the gulf of mexico, and became an air breathing creature. the redneck male noticed that sand stuck to his miller high life bottle and and the redneck female discovered that sand stuck to her vag.

one added benefit of the alabama ostrich is that it removes the uncomfortable subject of the menstrual cycle, since both parties know, going in, that they will be bl–dy afterwards.

furthermore, native americans believe that this act forms a deeper bond than the traditional act of becoming “blood brothers”
i was making love with my precious hoebag on the beach and decided to go for the alabama ostrich move. her v-g-n- looked like a bl–dy filet mignon afterwards, and my p-n-s looked like a dog d-ck.