Alberta

the texas of the north
oil, cows, and redneck politicians? but cold? must be alberta.
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scenery wise, alberta looks like colordo, with the towering rockies in the west and flat plains in the east. edmonton and calgary are the 2 biggest cities, and they hate each other. alberta is the texas of canada. much more consevative than any other province, and sitting on oil riche$
alberta is rolling in the dough from their oil excavation.
all these hateful comments make me laugh.
probably because most of it is true, but on a milder degree.

yes we have the rich oil companies and f-cking oceans of cows and wheat, no provincial tax and some pretty sh-t-brained politicians. edmonton and calgary hate each other because both of our hockey teams suck, one has a m-ssive mall and the other has stampede. the cities are surrounded by spots of little run down hick towns full of environment-trashing rednecks that spit, swear and drink their lives away. the bigger cities sort of get into the cowboy spirit, but its more like “yeah wooh! western culture…cows, horses, booze…..okay people lets get back to work now.”

and to top it off, its cold as f-ck here – forget what everyone else tells you its like 8 months of winter here, i sh-t you not. we have had snow in june and august before.

no it’s not perfect, yes there are some serious -ssholes here and yes, we are very rich. but you have to remember every province or state has its quirks and flaws, and you can’t always generalize, because there are some really nice people here. also – if you’re going to vacation somewhere, you probably shouldn’t come here, there really isnt much worth seeing. nice place to live though 🙂
i was about to go all ape sh-t “hey man i live here and i’m way more open minded than you obviously!” but then i was like “wait…truth be told most people in alberta /are/ like that 🙁 i’m outnumbered”
the texas of canada. full of hard nosed blue collar conservatives that are rich in oil. the only province, territory, or state in north america that is so economically powerful it could be its own nation (and should be, just to be d-cks to quebec).

the number one past time of albertans is working, when they aren’t working they are usually getting drunk. this is due to there being absolutely nothing else to do in alberta. other provinces hate alberta for its wealth and general arrogant att-tude, but often sympathize with them afterwards when they realized what a mundane place it is to live in.
albertan: (shouting) i’m albertan b-tch!

guy #1: that guy is a d-ck! and i think he’s drunk.

guy #2: you would be drunk too if you had to live there.
the richest province in canada. and the only economic fuel for quebec. the french have nothing so they must take what is rightful alberta’s oil and make it “rightfully theirs”.
french guy,”hey we alreay have the rest of canada to pay for our great health care system; why don’t we take our oil money from alberta and buy our liberal ministers hookers.”
a walking goddess. gorgeous like a model, funny,easy to talk to and an amazing body
guy 1: check out that girl
guy 2: thats an alberta
more exciting than sask and manitoba put together, the two biggest cities hate eachothers hockey teams. edmonton has one of the biggest malls in the world (the biggest in north america) like texas but cold as f-ck in the winter (usually about 8 f-cking months long) and green and the perfect temperature for the other 4 months. majority of the population hates the liberal party and would just love to quebec and punch some french f-ck in the face. probably has more 50k plus trucks on the road than anywhere else in the world. i kid you not there are more trucks & suv’s on the road than cars. everyone has a little redneck in them. calgary is home to the stampede where a bunch of city folk dress up and pretend to be cowboys and cowgirls but fail and all the real farmers and cowboys laugh at them. calgary has more knife killings per year than guns usually. has a bunch of small towns that think there better than the cities and all the cities think there better than small town, but in all reality there all the same. calgary has a complete f-ck tard for a mayor and the council isn’t any better. some b-tch on the counsil spent like 2 million dollars to make a c train station look better. no one gives a f-ck about that sh-t! everyone hates the c train.
albertan at the airport: hey man where you from?
some guy: ontario!
albertan: your a stupid f-ck!