alt bro
a rare lifestyle that combines some elements of being a bro (drinking beer, getting it in) with elements of being a hipster (listens to bon iver, stares out of windows while writing philosophy papers) with biddie moments mixed in (complains about not having enough boys’ attention).
friend 1: so these guys have been paying too much attention to me…
friend 2: g-d you’re such a biddie!
friend 1: no! i’m not a biddie, i’m a bro! i like to drink beer in shower stalls and stuff like that.
friend 2: “cough cough” biddie
friend 1: whatever, i’m going to listen to some obscure bands while writing this paper about life and stuff. afterwards i will go smoke and maybe reblog some upside down black and white photos.
friend 2: hipster!
friend 1: i’m not a hipster or a biddie! i’m a bro!
friend 2: shut up biddie.
friend 1: guys, i am an alt bro.
friend 2: whatever, that’s not even a real thing…
friend 1: time to go make out with some boys!
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alternative bro
an alt-bro is much like the dave matthews listening, sandal wearing bro of the 90’s, only wears tight pants, and only alternative music.
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