America

a magical land where the people worships and accepts big guns, junk foods and freedom (despite the irony going on there), also known for its’ barely functional government system, compared to canada.
joe : “hey, where are you going to?”

jack : “america.”

joe : “good luck out there man.”

my hat

the world according to america.

corporate america
a country that claims the name of an entire continent to itself alone for no compelling reason.
mexicans, colombians, brazilians… they’re americans too.
pr. n
1. (technical) a large area of land between the atlantic and the pacific, which includes the countries of the usa, canada, mexico, brazil, peru, chile, argentina, bolivia, and others.

2. (colloq.) the usa. shortened, so that n-body could forget it, but shortened in the place that makes people have random arguments about whether america is just the usa, the whole north, or both continents.

3. (deprec.) the place where you went in the 1900s if you fancied one of a few things; a new life, everybody else’s money, or a way to get away from people who you p-ssed off in your past in the country where you started.
syn. ‘the american dream’ – getting so rich that you can afford (and, indeed, savour) to not give a f-ck for anybody else.

4. (econ.) a place that got rich when others got nowhere by selling to both sides in world conflicts – right up until ww2, where their late arrival into the war did mean a certain victory for the allies much sooner than it otherwise would have come.

5. (obs.) one of only two nations in the entire world and its history that managed to do nothing in direct opposition to each other for nearly 50 years, and then have this period of nothingness labelled a ‘war’ of any description.

6. (inf.) probably the only country that could win in a ‘me versus everyone’ with the whole world, and despite the sometimes gung-ho antics of the nation, this does not look like it will ever be tested.

7. a country that might, although not alone, manage to repeat history with the fate of the un. then again, the un has been a talking house for the poorer countries for a while now, so n-body would really notice anyway.

8. a nation containing people that, although patriotic (and sometimes blindly), do not quite rival the apparant self-contentedness of the british, even after most are well aware their empire was handed back to the people that lived in its colonies, who then promptly fell back into the hole they were in when they were taken in the first place. (syn. ‘irony’)

9. the nation that will either cause ww3, or end it – but not both.

10. a place containing large cities that can only be rivalled in their uncleanliness by tokyo and jakarta. (syn. ‘not a good sign’)

11. (tech.) the country containing the most internet users in the world. also the country containing the most aol users in the world. (syn. ‘most annoying things ever’)

12. (econ.) a country with the most money you’ll never ever see in your lifetime.

13. the only country in the entire history of the world to manage to fund, train, and supply things to someone, even indirectly, in their efforts to do harm to america itself. (syn. ‘woops’)
‘despite being too large, america probably has the best tv shows in the world. because a lot of it is other nations’ shows, reran a few times.’
the country that most of the world hates becuase of our excellent choice of leadership. it also allows such filth like that crazy southern baptist sect that protests funerals of soldiers and screams sh-t like “thank g-d for dead soldiers! thank g-d for 9/11! g-d hates queers!”. something, somewhere went horribly wrong.
yeah, america is pretty much going down the drain.
the greatest coutry in the world. (or used to be anyways)

thanks in part to george w. bush, america is now the most hated country in the world. poor presidential decisions have caused a war, a cr-ppy economy, high gas prices, global warming, as well as a new low in stupidity.

america used to be a place that people were proud to call “home” but now, most people just say they’re canadian when they’re really american.

in america, a third-string qb for a pro football team will be paid roughly 6 times as much as a blue-collar worker who works hard every single day.

people would rather read about who jennifer anniston is currently dating, rather then the current situation in iraq.

american kids all dream about how they want to be pro sports players, not for the love of the game, but for the love of the money.

america is the only place where the more money that is dumped into schools, the dumber the children get.

the reputation of america has been forever tarnished, thanks to george w bush.
america, my home, sweet home.
a place where people who love jesus, suvs, big burgers, big women, and unprotected s-x. where people hate illegal immigrants, regular immigrants, people who know immigrants and anything with a french word in it. a place where people pretend like the word french doesn’t exist, can i get some freedom fries amen. a country that wears canada as a hat and mexico as a condom and the middle east as a toilet.
america is awesome where else can you get freedom toast for breakfast.

america once beat the devil in a arm wrestling match.

america sleeps with cheap women.
the country that everyone love to hate, but when disaster strikes, the one they look to for help
starving people in haiti? call in the americans
america is… (by me)

a country founded on pure princ-p-ls
that are not always true
but mostly are
a country containing many different
but alike
a country of greed
and charity
a country of technology
a country of tools
a country of fools
a country of millions
with debt in the billions
a bully
a friend
a country with a hand to lend
and a country that needs to mend
a country that is broken?
a country that needs to be woken?
loved
hated
revered
despised
home of the brave
land of the free

america is up to you,
not up to me;

it all depends on what you see.
america can’t be defined by anyone but you.
so do it yourself! cuz’ i ain’t gonna’.