american tourist

usually in a family or friend group, but occasionally single or in pairs, american tourists are a annoyance on anyone trying to have a good holiday in another country. europe would have to be worst place to find these fools, particularly in popular tourist spots such as venice, paris or rome. also likely to say, annoying, cliched, ignorant things and ask stupid questions repeatedly. i recently went to germany and italy with my brother and friends, so we comprised a list of every stupid thing we heard an american say. (it was tourist season and the world cup, so there were a few).

“can someone tell me where the pontavecio is?” – in a gold shop, on the pontavecio, florence, italy.

“wow, you guys are from austria! it only took you like an hour or so to get here.” – to me and friends wearing our australian supporters gear at the world cup.

“korea, thats in europe right?” – american after a korean game.

“what time is it in american right now?” “we are six hours before you, so it is 7 am.” “that’s crazy, how could anybody be before us.” – american father talking to german railway officer.

“where’s the nearest mcdonalds?” – american women in italy

“where can i meet ronaldo?” – young american child (he could be excused)

“go ronaldinho go!” – watching a world cup game against france and korea, wtf!!!

“how much is this in american dollars?” “thats why we have the exchange board over here.” “what’s exchange?” – women trying to buy a 50 euro cents map.

and my personal favourite….

“that’s definitly not a pizzeria.” – american woman leaving a gl-ss shop.
american tourist: i think argentina will win (argentina winning 6-0 with 30 seconds remaining).
me: thanks captain obvious.

europe is great, but travel at your own risk, american tourists are everywhere causing sevre head damage.
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most of these people are f-cking p-ss-es. although i am an american, i stand firm on that opinion. most of the little sh-t american tourists go around in other nations, mostly europe, doing any, if not all of the following:
a) wearing a canadian flag on their backpack/shirts
b) pretending they’re used to driving on the left
c) watching a soccer (football) match and pretending they know what the f-ck is going on and/or acting like they give a sh-t about what is happening on the field
d) trying to use an english accent, but doing an austrailian one instead. dumb -sses.
e) they’re too busy thinking they’ll be deemed an -sshole or some bull sh-t like that instead of not giving a f-ck and enjoying their vacation.
f) say “mate” “w-nker” “lad” “chap”
g) pretend like they know what the difference is between tony blair and the queen.

i personally have nothing against european views on anything above.

who turned the tide in wwii? america. where did most every day life inventions come from? americans. where was lance armstrong, one of the greatest motivational men in history, come from? america. who first landed on the moon? an american. what kind of tourists are the biggest p-ss-es? americans.
american tourists p-ss me off. when i go to europe, i wear shirts that say “c-o-l-o-r” with pride.