Andrew McCutchen
baseball player for the pittsburgh pirates, faster than a gazelle, sick dreads. wears his hat in a ridiculous manner. could be the messiah of the buccos. he is known for his calm demeanor. his helmet falls off when he runs for extra bases, and/or when running from first or second base to home. his hometown is listed as somewhere in florida, but he is most definitely from a planet called krypton. he has sometimes been referred to as ‘mcclutchen’, for his various walkoff hits/home runs. also referred to as “cutch.”
do whatever you can to spread a nickname for him, “the flying cutchman.”
bucs fan: dude, did you see cutch’s triple last night?
other bucs fan: no, he was going too fast. all i saw was his helmet laying between first and second. andrew mccutchen is a man among boys; he should have his own holiday.
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