Angry Shelton
a instructor of paramedic cl-sses that experiences a student induced facial expression of frustration dubbed, “the angry shelton”. in this moment of emotion he/she uses a variety of educational weapons to motivate his/her students to study hard, break them of bieng shy in front of others and take the cl-ss seriously. also used for students who cut up too much in cl-ss. his/her aresenol includes, but is not limited to:
“ipod karaoke”- used for motivation (he is known to use his own which included music of all genres from jimmy buffet to lil wayne)
“50 ml bag of 5% dextrose” – used as an alarm clock (usually aimed at wall behind student or empty chair beside student) can be subst-tuted with tennis b-lls and books. also used as defensive measure to the phrase, “treat with diesel”
“2 minutes of cpr” – used for simple minded mistakes after extensive practice or students that consider lecture as nap time (“how dare you not know what asystole is…” and “you guys look sleepy…” are usually heard prior to use)
—-note:the angry shelton is also known as: “the look”, “angry medic instructor” or “ami”, “the shelton stare”. these looks are not to be mistaken for the “stone face” appearance when scopes or skills are bieng preformed, as it just occurs naturally during these periods, and usually means you have his/her attention.
1.)
student: “my 3 lead shows st elevation in lead 2, possibly from a brain stem lesion. im gonna wait to do a full 12 lead while transporting, cuz this is an obvious heart attack. im gonna call a stemi alert, load them up and put them in the truck and treat with diesel to the nearest cathe lab.”
instructor: (shows facial signs of angry shelton, shakes head and begins looking for throwable objects or seen picking up microphone for karaoke machine) last words usually heard saying, “oh really…?”
or “treat with what…?”
2.)
student: “patient has heart rate of 30 and is asymptomatic, im gonna prepare for syncronized cardioversion at 360 joules…”
instructor: (angry shelton becomes present, stares off into sp-ce usually looking depressed) “are you sure…?” is a common phrase heard usually followed by a entertaining student preformance of “hollaback girl” by gwen stefani.
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