Anime Poisoning
a symptom caused by over-exposure to anime. often results in people dressing up as characters. (not for halloween, just for general life) victims will also use random mispr-nounced j-panese words in conversation. they will eat sushi or noodles for every meal, have an unhealthy obsession with ninjas, draw pictures of characters, and will insist on asking you if you like certain animes. answering ‘no.’ will most certainly result in being called ‘a giant super-baka’. they often write stories featuring anime characters in oddly s-xual situations. some will cary around a notebook which they genuinely believe has the power to kill. (if this were true, there would be very little sufferers from anime poisoning. as they’d all be dead.)
best prescribed treatment is to punch the affected person in the face. repeat until cured or dead, whichever comes first.
the following examples are all real situations. they have happened before and most likely will happen again.
anime poisoned girl: look at me! i’m not sitting in a normal way! i must be l! that makes me super-kawaii!
me: please die.
fat girl in store: they don’t have any cosplay wigs. this sucks, let’s go.
i laughed uncontrollably. fortunately, i hid behind a book.
overheard in internet café: look, suzie-chan! they got deisasu yaoi on this site!
someone else: shut up.
stranger at school: hey! do you like naruto?!
me: no. i don’t even know you. please f-ck off.
stranger: wow, you must be such a baka. naruto for the win! it’s kakkoii.
me: ugh.
anime poisoning is a deadly disease. stamp it out.
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