Anna’s Taqueria

anna’s taqueria is a small chain boston-area mexican restaurant that serves the best burritos you’ve had in your entire f-cking life for wonderfully low prices. anna’s taqueria (or anna’s, for short) currently has five locations: collidge corner in brookline, right near coolidge corner in brookline, davis square in somerville, mit in cambridge, and porter square in cambridge.

culture
anna’s taqueria is an important part of suburban life in boston. people from all over the boston ‘burbs- as close as newton and as far as natick- travel, sometimes for over an hour, just to eat at anna’s, because it’s just that godd-mn good. it is definitely the focal point of brookline life, and probably some other nearby suburbs, especially newton. those newton kids are always eating in our godd-mn restaurant.

food
the most popular food item at anna’s is the super burrito. the super burrito is a very large burrito that will almost never cost much more than six dollars. it is incredibly filling, as well as insanely delicious. arguably the best feature of the super burrito (or the “super” for short), as well as the regular-sized anna’s burrito, is the way that nothing ever falls out of the burrito. it’s perfectly wrapped. all the food will end up inside your belly. other popular food items include the regular burrito and the quesadilla.

anna’s is also renowned for its great selection of drinks. the most popular drink at anna’s is the “jarrito.” the jarrito is a popular mexican fruit soda that comes in many flavors, most notably pineapple. other popular drinks include fresh-squeezed orange juice and juavex, a mexican drink that kinda tastes like cr-p. i’m still not sure why anyone drinks it.

price
a super burrito and a drink at anna’s costs between six fifty and seven fifty, depending on exactly what you ordered. if you hold the guacamole, sour cream, and/or salsa, you can save up to an extra dollar. if you take your burrito with al pastor, whatever the f-ck that is, you save some more money.

history
anna’s taqueria has a famous feud with the wildly inferior boca grande restaurant (boca, for short). they are feuding for two reasons: a) they are heavily compet-tive cheap fresh-mex restaurants, and b) they are owned by j-panese siblings mariko and michael kamio who haven’t spoken to each other since their father’s funeral in 1996.

ordering
ordering at anna’s taqueria is not as simple as one might think. the process is reminiscent of the soup n-z- episode of seinfeld, only the people are respectful, polite, and mexican. first, you approach a mexican man standing at a metal box. he will address you, usually with eye contact as he doesn’t speak much english. you tell him what kind of item you’d like (regular burrito, super burrito, quesadilla, taco, etc.) and he prepares the tortilla. it’s important to remember to distinguish between a regular and super burrito, usually by saying “regular chicken,” “super chicken,” or speaking spanish. he p-sses the tortilla to a man with spoons. he is known as the spoon-handler. you tell him what topings you like, and he puts them on. then you go to the cash register, pay, and eat.

other mexican restaurants
don’t bother. it’s not worth your time.

first time?
are you planning on going to anna’s for your first time? good for you! it is recommended that you try a super burrito with all the fixins that the spoon-handler recommends, and a pineapple jarrito. this is the tried-and-true combination that has made anna’s the greatest place ever for as long as i’ve lived in brookline!
typical order at anna’s taqueria:

tortilla guy addresses me with a nod.

me: hi, could i have a super chicken please?

tortilla guy puts cheese on tortilla, puts it in metal steamer thingy. he presses the lever twice and p-sses the tortilla to the counter.

spoon-handler: beans? rice?

me: yes. and lettuce… sour cream… salsa… guacamoles… jalapeños… and hot sauce. that’s all.

spoon-handler wraps burrito in the blink of an eye, p-sses it to mexican lady with good english.

mexican lady with good english: for here or to go?

me: for here.

mexican lady with good english: anything else?

me: yes, a pineapple jarrito, please.

mexican lady with good english: is that all?

me: yes.

mexican lady with good english: seven thirty-eight.