Apple Valley

a town halfway between vegas and la that is not barstow. there are no apples here. mainly small town but it is rapidly growing. not much to do here other than go to the movies. we have 2 theaters,
apple valley teenager: i’m bored im going to the movies
suburb of minneapolis and st. paul in minnesota, approximately 20 miles southeast of the two cities.
the vikings just lost, time to leave the metrodome and head back home to apple valley
town sort of close to san bernardino in california. it isn’t a good town, but we’ve got a ralph’s.
apple valley teenager: i’m bored, i’m going to ralph’s.
a town halfway between vegas and la that is not barstow. it is characterized by lots of brown hills and few brown people. it was founded by a racist b-st-rd. there are no apples here. there’s not even a d-mn movie theater. you have to go to victorville or “down the hill” to ontario or rancho cucamonga to do anything fun.

but, there is a whole lot of empty desert to smoke weed and have s-x in!
“apple valley is brown and ugly, but hey, there aren’t many black people here.”

-writer believes these are what is technically referred to as “racist b-st-rds”
apple valley is also the first layer of h-ll in the high desert. to people of the high desert (or cities of the d-mned) the hierarchy is as follows: apply valley, victorville, hesperia, adelanto with adelanto being the final level. but to its virtues apple valley is the most organized and least corrupt town of the high desert. neighboring towns such as hesteria (hesperia), victimville (victorville) and ghettolanto (adelanto) idolize the city for its organization, growth, rule of law. composed mostly of the wealthy high desert dwellers it is the envy of other cities in the area.
kid 1: “i’m from hesperia.”
kid 2: “im from adelanto.”
kid 3: “im from apple valley r-t-rds.”
kid 1 & 2: “thats so cool can i say you are my friend?”
apple valley is a city located in northwestern dakota county in the u.s. state of minnesota, and a suburb of the twin cities. it was incorporated in 1969. it is 17 square miles of cr-ppy suburban neighborhood housing and .1 square miles of nice private housing. where all it does is boast about the mall of america, when its not even in the same city. it is home too the independent district of 196 which has the longest public school year and the least amount of snow days which is ironic due to the fact that apple valley does not have a sufficient amount of snow plows. where the night life does not even exist and there is nothing to due. you on
apple valley kid 1: lets do something tonight.
apple valley kid 2: there is nothing to do we live in apple valley.
a burb of the twin cities
affectionatly called
-happy valley
-the valley
“nothing bad ever happens in happy valley”
“i’m headed back to the valley next week”

apple valley

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