applectomy
a medical condition in which prolonged usage of apple technology results in degenerative brain diseases. applectomy is subsequently branched into a wide variety of symptomatic illnesses based on the level and type of exposure to apple products.
decreased motor cortex stimulation: prolonged usage of apple’s touch screen technology will result in the degeneration of the motor cortex. resulting in a loss of fine motor skills and overall finger dexterity needed to finely manipulate items. items such as a keyboard.
appsosis: a debilitating mental illness brought about by chronic exposure to the apple iphone’s third party applications causes dementia and neurosis among patients overly engrossed into their recently purchased “app”.
i-form dyslexia: a learning disability that stems from habitual usage of apple’s “i” products i.e “ipod”, “iphone”, “imovie”. patients begin to refer to objects with the prefix lowercase “i”. referring to a pet dog as “idog” or a friend as an “ifriend” is a sign of i-form dyslexia
jim: hey sarah how are you doing today?
sarah: -in profound vegetative state-
jim: sarah please stop using your iphone, please! your family needs you…
sarah: -in profound vegetative state-
doctor: i’m sorry jim but she’s suffering from late stage applectomy. her brain has atrophied from prolonged use of her iphone.
jim: g-d no….
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