ass paste

think semi solid sh-t that squirts out slowly in a long tube shape as if it where coming out of a toothpaste tube. often required viggourous wiping afterward.
“toothpaste? nah, i use -ss paste!”
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the putrid blend of unwiped -ss and sweat forming a sticky, smelly paste characterized by a horrendous odor, an unfresh feeling, and skid marks which are impossible to remove, rendering underwear permanently soiled.
that grunge m-ffin asking me for spare change has visible -ss paste. i could smell it a block away!
the pastey sh-t you take after eating mexican or indian food. sometime collets on back of toilets and takes many many flushes to be washed away..sometimes also taking many many showers to be washed away from your in betweens.
1. man this hobo smells like -sspaste.
2. while traveling in europe i had many cases of -sspaste.
crude form of pâte âne, which is known in elite circles as a creme cleansing substance to be used with a brush over a bidet. these products are offered by a few jet set mail order companies and often available through the concierge desk at 5 star hotels. a french chef reportedly manufactured the first product for this purpose around 1890, but was unable to market it effectively and folded the company. interest in such a product returned among upper-cl-ss sportsmen in the mid-nineteenth century, and the use of this substance is said to have become popular with the dundee and perth polo club of scotland to help minimize swelling. it is now considered a luxury reserved for aristocrats and celebrities.
guest:
pardon me concierge, do you have any colla asino brand pâte âne?
concierge:
i do apologize sir… to what are you referring? i’m not familiar.
guest:
pâte âne.. you know… -sspaste.
concierge:
why yes sir, we have longhorn brand -n-l pate. would you also be interested in our brushing service? our specialist has a spot open in his schedule in an hour.